Kids and Your House

Not my house, but I feel for these parents.

A phrase I hear all too often is "I don't want to invest in a [insert] sofa, chair, table, rug for my house because my kids will just ruin it." I usually just don't say anything because what people choose to do with their house and/or money and/or kids is their business. But I heard that phrase for about the 3,324 time yesterday and I started thinking about it. Now, I grew up in a house where my mother was very much into decorating and took a lot of pride in the way her house looked. But I also had friends whose parents really didn't seem to care whether or not the drapes were lined or if the sofa looked good with the chair...and in both of those cases, we were certainly not allowed to ruin anything.

We had rules about how we were allowed to live and also visit in those homes. My parents raised 3 children in their house and aside from an unfortunate confrontation with a bedroom door, I can't recall a time we ever ruined a piece of furniture. Because let me tell you…my mom would. not. have. it.  I didn't pay for one single item in my parents house. I lived there like a squatter who felt entitled to having my dinner prepared and my laundry done. We had rules. No eating on the sofa. No food or drinks upstairs. No shoes on the furniture. And if you want to fight, take that mess outside so you don't knock something over. We never wrote on the walls as children. Because I'm pretty certain it happened once and the wrath of my mother was burned into our brains for eternity. Because there is a 99% chance she painted that wall herself with a color she loved and seeing our squatter-hobo crayon marks all over it made her lose her shit. And rightly so.

When I was a kid I thought these rules were just the result of my mom being a total buzzkill and super bossy. I think she was just preparing us to learn how to treat our houses and the things in them with respect. Now that doesn't mean I don't want my daughter to play and enjoy her home, but in the end it is not hers. She will not be able to do with it as she pleases. She cannot jump on the sofa or paint on the coffee table or have a water gun fight in the living room. She can't play with or mess with certain things in the house and if she does, she gets in trouble. Some might say to just put it away where she can't get to it, but that's not how I roll. Kids have a very "everything is mine" mentality. I am here to break it to her that everything is most definitely not hers.

It was always very clear growing up that our house was my parents house. We just got to live there for free. And it's also worth mentioning that we are always able to go back there if the need arises, and live, for free. Just no shoes on the furniture, a phrase spoken by my father to me not too long ago when I was there for a visit. I rolled my eyes.